I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
