let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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