i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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