if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I seem to have left my pride at pride
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Randomize
