Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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