shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
