How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize