I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
