I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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