how can u be prego again
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
