remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I am full of burrito and curiosity
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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