At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
where does the pee come out of this thing
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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