shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
