It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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