I swear she didn't look like that last week.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
