Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize