can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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