Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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