Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
