I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize