My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
