My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
