Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
