Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
