So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize