This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
