He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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