i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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