she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
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