Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
