We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
