So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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