Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
