The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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