I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
