ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
