Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize