They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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