Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
