so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
