Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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