i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
