She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
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