Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
