Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
