dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
