You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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