Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
