oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize