When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
