you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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