Already got asked if we're dating
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
