I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
