I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
