look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize