He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
