You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
