i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize