I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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