Non-Jews are for practice
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Randomize
