oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
