Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
