her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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