I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
